Wordless Thursday

it's just one of those days..
one of those days that I can't really put anything into words..so I'll put some pictures on here..and call it a wordless Thursday.

change.

Seems like everything happens all at the same time. All at once things change. You are almost left with no time to think or adjust, you jump right into the movement. Emotions are at a constant state of up and down. You feel like your emotions will never catch up to what reality is. Is there ever a time when things don't change, when nothing moves? Choices to constantly be thankful for the breath of life, sun rising, signifying that a new day has arrived. The sun setting signifying you have completed that day with everything you had...

hope.

It's been so long since I have wanted to even write..the last time I wrote was days after my dad passed away. It's been a little over four months..and as I sit here on Christmas Eve, I can't help but remember. For so long, I put off writing because it was something I loved to do and a characteristic I got after my dad..but the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was my inspiration to write. Today I went to the cemetery and stood before my dad's head stone, it was such a surreal feeling..so many emotions were running through me, I didn't know you could feel so much in a matter of minutes. Sorrow, pain, joy, thankfulness..each emotion I felt brought a memory. I will never forget who he was in my life. No matter how many days, hours, minutes and seconds go by without him...I miss him...love him..but know he is with Jesus, worshipping around His thrown.

Say

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say

-John Mayer.





Grief is like the ocean..sometimes the waves will crash at your ankles and you are still able to stand. Then there are moments where a huge wave comes and knocks you over, unable to stand.



a daughters perspective:

I have always loved to write, especially with my dad by my side..giving me insight and a new perspective, but this time, he wasn’t by my side. So I found myself at a loss for words staring at a blank screen for hours.. but I want to honor him and who he was in my life and all that he meant to me.

This is one of the hardest things that I have ever had to write. I had no idea how to write it, or even where to begin. The easiest way I found to do this was write a letter to him.

Dad,
First I just wanted to say that I love you and I miss you so much. You were an amazing dad, always wanting the best for me..always willing to do anything for me. You were the greatest example of God’s love..you exemplified it through everything that you did, from the way you worked, the way you loved our family, the way you served the church, the way you loved your friends. There was never a moment I doubted your love for me. Even in your final week, laying in that hospital bed, you told me over and over how much you loved me and how proud you were. I was inspired by your love for God and your passion to get the gospel out to those that needed to hear it. Dad you never once gave up, even though you couldn’t do all the things that once came so easy. You never let cancer defeat you...you allowed cancer to be used by Jesus. You taught me how to fish, plant flowers, camp, boogie board, you gave me a passion for music, writing, reading, and ministry. I know this last year and a half was anything but easy, but the day you were diagnosed with cancer you thanked God. Showing us that no matter what lies ahead we always press forward. So now, dad I stand here, proud to be your daughter, honored to stand here and share in your legacy. I miss you so much, but I know that you are dancing and singing in eternity. I love you daddy. All the memories will stay in my heart, and I will not forget all that you have told me. I am so glad that we were able to spend this last week together, laughing, crying, talking, worshiping, praying..
Daddy, you are the best.. Your example was to run the race and never give up.


love always,
analise joy.

boy.

In life, you always find yourself stumbling across the most amazing people. You wonder why couldn't I have met you earlier in life? Then, you realize everything in life has it's perfect timing. I found myself right there, meeting some of the most amazing people. The person you can just sit with and have a cup of coffee with, a cup of coffee and a meal later, you are still sitting there, completely wrapped in the conversation. It's like you are the best of friends and have known each other your whole life.








Trey Dillon: He is the boy that sits with you while you cry and feel like everything is falling apart. He will come and bring you food, tissue, medicine when you are sick..buy you a teddy bear after a car accident, take you to get ice cream even if it's 11:00 at night because he knows you have had a bad day. He is the one that will take you to see one of your favorite childhood movies, even if it's not his favorite. He will watch some of your favorite shows with you..he will hug you when you are feeling homesick or scared. He is the one that will just tell you everything is gonna be okay, when you feel like things are falling apart. He is the one that will walk with you when it is so hot outside, because he knows you love to walk. Wow, I guess I could really go on and on. Oh and he is the one that will sing to you, because it is one of your favorite things in the world. Needless to say, I love to sit and have a cup of coffee with him, eat, cry, watch movies..do everything with. I am crazy about him...and so blessed to have this amazing boy in my life. The end.

its been a while

I find myself always neglecting my blog. My time to just write and hide in a sea of letters and words. It's the only time that you don't really have to make sense if you don't want to, or feel pressured to be something. It's you and letters. Letters that form themselves into words, words with meaning. Meanings that turn into a sense of emotion or feeling, in turn those emotions and feelings turn into action. Before you know it, you are right back at the beginning. A sea of letters and words...it's a cycle that you can't always stop, or want to stop. It's a place that you can let your imagination run. Every single time I always want to write something, I am never even sure what to write. Pressuring myself to be creative and fancy, or write something that intrigues you to read more. So right now, I find myself at a crossroad. I am not really sure what path to take, because I'm scared the one I decide to take, well..it's gonna be the wrong one. I know that life is full of decisions and we can never really take the "wrong" one, but in my head, I just can't help but feel that way. Anyway, I hate the fact that when you begin to grow up, you are constantly faced with the crossroads. Eh, man I am not really a fan right now. It always comes at the time that I think that life is oh, so lovely. So, which one will I take? Still not sure, don't know if I will know before I even decide to take it. All I know, is that I have to chose something. The fear of failure takes over us so many times, it even begins to affect wanting to even make the decision of what path to take. Pretty soon, we don't even want to walk down one.

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"which road do i take?" she asked.
"where do you want to go?" was his response.
"i don't know" she replied.
"then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter

I guess that sums everything up.

Lesson learning: each and every one of us has our own unique journey. I shouldn't be comparing my decisions or paths with someone else..I shouldn't be so fearful of the path I take. I know whichever one I chose God will meet me there...

Endless.

endless beauty

endless creativity

endless dreams

endless LOVE

Jesus you're beauty, dreams for me and love for me..amaze me..